The Powerful 30: Criticism vs Your True, Authentic YOU

By Esther | August 3rd 2020 | Life and Purpose, Transformation and Spiritualty, Self-Care Series

Criticism. It’s what people use to impose their ideas of right and wrong to get other people to fall in line.

I am a pastor’s wife. But one fine day, a lady came up to me and told me “You don’t dress like a pastor’s wife.” I found her remark ludicrous because I AM a pastor’s wife, and I WAS a pastor’s daughter so I should know how I should look like more than anyone else.

But apart from the seeds of doubt, confusion, and irritation that that lady planted in me, I felt that I was irked more by the fact that somebody pointed out something that I tried hard to ignore. At that point in my life, I was struggling with who I was, and I really did not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror.

I did my best to do God’s work and I felt like I was doing it by conforming to my role as a community leader, mother, wife, and friend in the standards set by other people. I was measuring myself with someone else’s yardstick and I didn’t like who I was becoming because it felt like I was moving further away from who I really was to the point that doing what God wanted me to do didn’t exactly feel right to me.

And that comment that the lady gave me made me feel even more confused and in the wrong.

Oftentimes, we find people in our lives who criticize our choices, whether unintentional or with spite. And many times, we let ourselves get affected by these criticisms that we transform them into gauges of our success and our worth.

But what we fail to realize is that we all have different lives to live and each of us was made unique by God. Each of us has a purpose with which God created us to fulfill. We cannot measure our own worth and success based on somebody else’s version of worth and success and with a life that is different from our own.

We are NOT supposed to be like everyone else. We are supposed to become truer to OURSELVES, to accept and use the gifts He has anointed us with. That moment when we find and live our true self is the moment we become more powerful, and so does He. Because as we deny who we are, truly and authentically, we deny Him. We deny the beauty and the wonder and the power of His PERFECT creation. He is God and He can do no less than perfect, which means each of us is NO LESS than that too.

I was validated of this when a pastor’s wife who gave a talk in one of the leadership conferences I attended said, “God wants you to be who you are.” It was my confirmation from God that I did not have to be anyone else’s idea of a pastor’s wife in order for me to do His work. I knew that making the choices that felt right for me was the right thing because the more I can become me, the closer I get to the person He created me to be. This gave me more resolve and desire to do what God wanted me to do.

This also shifted my perception of criticisms and how I have the power to either let it affect me negatively or use it to find my true, authentic self. Having peace of mind and being focused on the things that are most important and authentically me keeps me grounded and unaffected by criticisms. And I find that my morning practice of my POWERFUL 30 has really helped me focus and be a better me.

The Powerful 30 is...

10 minutes of MUSIC.

Choose music that lifts your heart and soothes away your stresses, music that inspires and speaks to your soul. This helps you get connected with your inner self and with God because inspirational music puts our mind and body in a higher energetic state.

10 minutes of SCRIPTURE, DEVOTION, or MOTIVATION.

Choose a passage or quote that is dedicated to the things that you feel you are struggling with or need more of in your life at that very moment – love, peace, understanding, strength, it can be anything. There is always a bible quote or inspirational reading that lifts you up and fits the situation you are in. Read and seek to understand its deeper meaning to find out how you can apply it in your life.

Prayer is the foundation of everything and the foundation for living a purposeful life. Your relationship with God and with others is developed and fostered through prayer and meditation. Prayer and meditation enact change. But you have to do more than that. You have to be in action and make certain decisions. Prayer and meditation give you guidance, understanding, and clarity on what God wants you to do for the greater good. Keeping still and quiet during meditation allows you to listen to the answers that you are seeking. Sometimes you can hear it clearly, other times it is an inner knowing, and there are times when it is not clear at all. But somewhere in your day or week, your answer will reveal itself.

We often let our feelings guide us, and we know when a decision compromises our inner and authentic self. Criticism can either be discouraging or useful, depending on how you let it impact your life. But being focused and having peace of mind allows you to take criticisms and use them to get an inner look of yourself and find your true, authentic you.

Remember, God wants you to be who you are.

Take this to heart and hold it close. Let its light kindle and burn brighter. Turn up that flame and let it shine in you and through you, as you use it to glow with the perfection of your true and authentic self.

You will love yourself for it, and so will He.

For more on how the Powerful 30 can change your life, check out my book, Why? Stepping into Purpose. This is a powerful book of discovery, clarity, and transformation.

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