Six Simple Steps to Cultivating Strong, Healthy Relationships

By Esther | September 18th 2020 | Family and Relationships

1. Communication

Communication is everything. It is the foundation of healthy and great relationships. You need to communicate everything about everything. Develop a time where you and the person you are in a relationship with can talk. The most important thing to remember is that communication is not just about WHAT you talk about, but also about HOW you talk about things. You are responsible for how you communicate. Never put the other person in a situation where they have to defend themselves. Communication is a two-way business so you need to be in a space where both of you can really talk and listen with mutual love and respect. When you are able to communicate effectively, you build the trust that makes your relationship stronger and happier.

“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life… without it, it dies.”  - Tony Gaskins 

2. Share and express your feelings and emotions

Don’t keep your emotions bottled up inside. Part of a relationship that has good communication is being able to communicate feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong with expressing feelings and emotions, but you need to express it in the right way. Expressing your emotions can actually be very therapeutic because if you keep it all in, you put yourself in so much stress that it can create a negative psychological and physical response. Expressing your feelings can help you release the weight of your emotions and you will feel much better and healthier. This is what is called emotional agility.

“Comfort in expressing your emotions will allow you to share the best of yourself with others, but not being able to control your emotions will reveal your worst.”

-Bryant H. McGill

3. Take the time to spend with each other and take the time to self-care

4. Let go of the past

Life happens. There are so many things that happen in life, both good and bad, and some that we are not proud of. You need to let go of the things in your past and move on so you can build a strong relationship. Remember that you can’t really start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading that last one. Inner peace and being able to give yourself to serve others can only be reached when there is forgiveness, and forgiveness happens when you let go of the past.

“Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go. People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, and negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing.”  -Brian Weiss 

5. Don’t bring other people into your relationships

Remember that a relationship is a bond or a connection between two individuals. Do not EVER bring people into your relationship because they do not have the same understanding of what you have with the person you are in a relationship with. When you are in a disagreement, resolve that together by talking and communicating with each other properly. Do not go and get counsel from other people, even your friends, who might have a biased opinion of your relationship and who may also not be doing well themselves. This will only cause friction and may make your relationship problems even worse. If you have a safe space, like a mentor or a coach or a therapist, or someone you know is unbiased and will give you good, quality advice then that is fine. But don’t go and talk to everybody about your relationship whenever you are upset.

“The best person to talk to about your relationship problems is the person you’re in a relationship with. Don’t base your relationship decisions off of the advice of people who don’t have to live with the results.”  -Anonymous 

6. Set healthy boundaries

We sometimes have relationships with people that are just toxic. Sometimes these relationships are with people who we have no choice but to be in a relationship with, like your sibling or a parent. What you can do is set healthy boundaries. Remember that a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down but inspires you to be better. When you set healthy boundaries, you protect your emotional space, have better self-esteem, and have more independence and agency to live and run your life. The way to do this is to communicate positively and respectfully. Set boundaries for yourself and encourage the other person to set boundaries for themselves and respect their boundaries when they have them. This will lead to less conflict in your relationships, improved communication, less anxiety and stress, a sense of peace and safety, and you both will be able to nourish and bring joy to yourself and to each other. When we set boundaries with each other it doesn’t mean that we want to hurt each other, rather, it is our attempt to continue the relationship in the healthiest way.

"Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”  -Anna Taylor 

You need to build your relationship with yourself first before you can build and share a healthy relationship with someone else. But, cultivating relationships in your life is also you putting YOU first and loving yourself first because you are making sure that your emotional and mental state is being taken care of. Things nowadays are always changing and pivoting. You need to be able to function in a healthy way and build healthy relationships as this can roll out to other areas in your life.

Relationships, whether they are a 1 or a 10, can teach you so much about YOU. Your reaction and response to people in your relationships tell you what you need to resolve in your inner world. You can learn the values in your life and your life’s purpose by examining your relationships. As you explore these lessons about yourself, you become a better YOU.

That is why every relationship in your life is important and beautiful because they have the potential to help you become a better YOU.

Homework:

For the next 24 hours, think about those relationships that you would like to cultivate more and those relationships that you need to set some healthy boundaries on. Then, take the time to schedule the important things that will build your relationships. And lastly, go deeper and make a list of the healthy boundaries that you need to set. Share your answers and post them on my Facebook Page, Festa Della Donna, with the hashtag #imlovingme.

Among all our relationships, our relationship with God is one of the most beautiful, healthy, non-negotiables. Cultivate your relationship with Him by joining or starting your 40-Day Prayer Challenge. Learn more about it on my Facebook Page.

Love This? Don't Forget To Share

©2020 FESTA DELLA DONNA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS AND CONDITIONS