3 Fundamental Steps to Live Authentically

By Esther | September 10th 2020 | Self-Care Series, Life and Purpose, Transformation and Spirituality

People oftentimes show up as different people at different times. Most of the time this is because we feel so pressured to show up a certain way to certain groups of people or for particular situations. Society has so many expectations that we would always try to meet and fulfill.

People expect you to behave or act according to the label that they give you or the perception of who you are supposed to be. And so many times, you conform to other people’s perceptions and expectations of who they think you should be.

But what you fail to remember is that you should live your life not according to how people want you to live it, but according to how you want your life to be. Your life should be lived with happiness, joy, and peace, and not with dictation or expectations from people who do not even know the real you.

When you allow other people’s perceptions and expectations to dictate how you show up in your everyday life, you give them permission to run your life the way that they see fit and you allow them to judge you. And what happens then is you begin to feel the pressure and find it difficult to like yourself because you are slowly losing who you truly are.

You change yourself to please other people but you’re not being true to yourself in the process. God said that you have to be who HE has called you to be, and not who other people have told you that you should be. Just because people say that you have to be a certain way doesn’t mean that God has called you to be that way.

You need to stop walking around being what everybody has called you to be and BE what God has called you to be. Rediscover yourself and who you really are, the YOU that you lost when you tried to show up as who people wanted you to show up.

Free yourself from the shackles of other people’s expectations and be YOU. When you do, you will begin to show up as your true self and live life authentically. Nobody can beat you from being yourself. Nobody can be a better you than YOU. You are a miracle and you have something that the world needs to see.

God created you to fulfill a purpose and He wants you to show up exactly like the person that He has called you to be. He wants to use you and your gifts because you have something that nobody else in the world can do.

Remember one of the iconic lines from a children’s book that we have always used to try to teach kids about loving themselves and becoming their true selves?

“Today you are YOU,

That is TRUER than TRUE.

There is NO ONE alive

Who is YOUER than YOU!”

- Dr. Seuss

It is amusing to think that a lot of us adults still need to be reminded of this every once in a while. But this line, as simple as it is, resonates so much of what so many personal and life coaches, a lot of times, work on their clients to achieve. This shows that the journey to discovering one’s self begins when we are little but so many of us still can’t figure it out as we grow into adulthood because of the fear of rejection and judgment from other people and from society.

It is important for you to discover your purpose and live your authentic life because when you do everything else follows. When you are happy with who you are, when you know your true self, you can then become who you need to be for all your relationships. You will be able to become the best version of yourself, as a parent, spouse, child, sibling, friend, colleague, leader, community servant, and more.

You will be able to serve better, love better, help better, care better, understand better, and be better because you live in truth, happiness, positivity, and peace within yourself.

So, how do you rediscover yourself?

Here are 3 steps to living authentically:

1. Self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your own character, feelings, motives, and desires. It is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, emotions, or thoughts do or do not align with your values and internal standards. Remember that the easiest person to deceive is one’s own self. Be responsible for your actions. Acknowledge your emotions. Be aware of your thoughts. What are your thoughts telling you about who you are now? What are your thoughts telling you about who you’re going to be? What are your thoughts telling you about your future? When you're highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you. A famous writer once said, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

2. Explore who you are.

What are some of your characteristics? Shatter the looking glass and dig deep into your inner self. Examine yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, your characteristics through a magnifying glass. This process can be difficult, painful, and sometimes a battle within yourself because most of us do not want to admit the negative that comes with our positive. But you need to admit who you are truly, whether it be positive or negative. Only then will you be able to enact change and live authentically, to be who God has created you to be. Be truthful in your characteristics. Don’t put down what you know is not true. A famous philosopher priest once said, “characteristics which define beauty are wholeness, harmony, and radiance.” This is what we must strive to have. But in order to have that we need to acknowledge both our good and bad characteristics and push on changing what needs to be changed.

3. Get my FREE course, You Were Created for More.

Get into an even deeper exploration and discover who you really are in the seven areas of your life: your spiritual, your health, your personal, your social, your relationships, your career, and your financial. Understand your reason, your “why”. Why are you in this world? What did God create you to do? We are all here for a reason. And just like I said before, your purpose is your own because you have something that only you have and that the world needs which it cannot get from anyone else. Your uniqueness, your YOU set you apart from everyone else because it is what makes you great. You were born to be different, to be special, and to stand out. And with my free course, you will be able to understand why you are.

You need to discover who you are so you can show up authentically to the world. You need to show up and show your love and care to the people around you. But you can only do this if you put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Serve yourself first before you give it to someone else. When you give it to yourself first, then you are better prepared to serve someone else, and you can show up 100% in every area of your life.

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